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Thursday, 3 October 2013

stubborn vs stubborn

i was at work this morning, normal routine of work. the only difference is i unplugged my telephone line; not wanting to be disturbed. not until kakak couldnt reach me as i avoided all calls & wassap too. i was too emotionally disturbed by my hopes, my level of missing someone terribly, my ignorance, all of the mixed feelings that i have..... only to know that kakak seek another alternative to look for me and that is thru him. *slaps forehead

And so the numerous wassap kept coming through my mobile by him..... panjang berjela, niat dihati tknak balas, kesian lah pula.... cos he knew i was reading his msgs. Sigh! The person who created wassap should modify the apps in a way where the sender didnt know the msgs had been read. That would save me from being caught like this morning.

If only he knows how much i want to meet him today, he would probably be at my workplace instead of asking if i wanna see him.... am i wrong to love him so much? Am i wrong to miss him terribly? What is wrong with me? Have i forgotten where I stand? Have I forgotten that I had only asked a part of his love only? Am i not contented? I wish i could just cry outloud, and not keep it within me cos it  hurts a lot.

Dia pun boleh tahan degil juga macam aku.... tak tahu lah if dia sengaja je cakap besok nk jumpa, knowing that its friday, and the rest of his fam at jb. At this point, i really didnt want him to waste his time travelling to sg, just for the sake of compensating today's failed meet up. Worst still, checking his chat at the causeway. Sigh!!!!!! Because of that uncertainty, i decided to just apply leave tmr. Tunggu jelah updates.... kalau dia nak jumpa, then i see him, else, i just roam ard anywhere till noon, before i go home. I already refrain him from  executing his idea, but unsure if he will listen  to me. Dekni kadang-kadang full of 'surprises'

Tadi dia kata aku nie manja sangat? Dia blum nampak lagi manja aku yang sebenar. Tadi baru sekejap MIA. dah cakap macam2... ilmu tinggilah, ilmu ghaib lah, ilmu falsafah lah... sabar!! sabar!! 

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