Another month left and 2013 is coming to an end.... time flies...
Alhamdulillah, first born did well for her exams, personal achievements for her and making me and the people around her proud. Nothing beats the efforts and hardwork she had put in. A new beginning for her, embarking to a new education journey for her future prospects. InsyaAllah....
Consciously i unzipped my organiser awhile ago, seeing a picture of us both taken at LGK airport at the front page ( i couldnt recall when i printed that photo out and cut it nicely leaving only us and placed it in the organiser), i realised its been 3 years of knowing each other.
In that organiser too, a white envelope was slipped into its pocket; a letter given to me together with a white teddy and a gold Al-Jumanatusy Syarif kitab..... And so i read.
I flipped through the pages until my very first writings, reading the first few lines where i took half day and have him as my company. We sat on a bench facing a beach, and he drew me closer to him where i rest my head on his chest..... and i decided to stop reading. Closed my organiser and now ranting on my blog. Those were the time, unexpected leave, unexpected companion by the beach.... i would be lying if i said i do not miss those moments. I enjoyed those time very much. Penned down every single day we spent together, but now, i feel, the last i see of him seems like weeks back, and nothing much that i could write of for me to keep as memories.
Its a mixed feelings after all. My love towards him hasnt lessen, im sure of that. Instead i feel lesser love.
I... too many things that lingers in my head now, just dunno how to let it all out. He is just everywhere i go. Always in my mind, closest to my heart. But i couldnt be with him physically like how i imagine the closeness we could be. Its all in a mind game, and i hate that big time. Frustrations.
I seek your forgiveness Ya Allah.
The last time i see him, was his bday lunch treat. No more, daily, no more twice or thrice in a week, lesser on weekly.... it has now changed to fortnightly.
Im quietly accommodating to changes. And hanging on tight to a full swing of understanding priorities, contraints and situations.
I guess im just being too pampered.... :'(
Its a mixed feelings after all. My love towards him hasnt lessen, im sure of that. Instead i feel lesser love.
I... too many things that lingers in my head now, just dunno how to let it all out. He is just everywhere i go. Always in my mind, closest to my heart. But i couldnt be with him physically like how i imagine the closeness we could be. Its all in a mind game, and i hate that big time. Frustrations.
I seek your forgiveness Ya Allah.
The last time i see him, was his bday lunch treat. No more, daily, no more twice or thrice in a week, lesser on weekly.... it has now changed to fortnightly.
Im quietly accommodating to changes. And hanging on tight to a full swing of understanding priorities, contraints and situations.
I guess im just being too pampered.... :'(
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