flashing back....

Its been long..... i have been lagging in blogging..... and last was my update on Ramadhan  nothing much of an update as mr.love too had been busy and today was only our 2nd lunch meet. Contented still.....

Syawal is just like any normal days this year. Not much visiting done. As my first was busy preparing for her prelims.... a good excuse for myself too as i dont quite enjoy going out. Heee.... a visit to my bro's place... oh well... guess nothing much i could do to break one's hard-stoned cold ego....

My first lunch meet wz mr.love was last tues.... at mr.ronald's...... he probably missed me too much that i was only sent back to office at 2.30pm hmmmm.... record-breaking lunch break for me. And as usual, i entered my office wz my selamba kodok face...

Today's lunch again at mr.ronald.... but a lil diff as we drove thru and enjoyed the windy cool day by each others' company... and i have always love that spot with mr.love around... love being hugged... love being kissed... love holding hands...love being loved....

2years ago, we enjoyed walking there and sat by the rocks admiring the beautiful creation of Allah. Sun-sets.... nite breeze.... those were the days.... i am missing those moments very much...
So much changes to the relationship, lesser time spent together, lesser communication, thankfully my love for him was not affected. Thou at times i couldnt deny thinking... how long will this last? Will he or i ever get bored? Wat is gonna happen in another 3years? Are things gonna be monotonous still? i wish i have the answers.... but on a flip thoughts... its best that i dont have the answer and just enjoy being loved and be each other's best companion...... right dear? (Hmmm.... ok, i knw wat u r thinking..... even at this thoughts i am still silence with answers, must be my nature ha, of not answering quetions) *eyebrow up  down*

I wish i wish i wish.... lingers in my mind.... but im happy still.....

I love u so so much lah dear.... im sure u know that i miss u lots too...........

29 Ramadhan

it is the last day of Ramadhan... and of course, it saddens to have this blessed month leaving us so soon.... Days of Ramadhan had passed very fast... too fast that i feel i hadnt done enough seeking solace with Allah.... i'm sad. and throughout this Ramadhan too, communication with mr. love continues, and only yesterday did we meet to allow me to pass him his cookies, baked with much love by yours truly. mr.love was never left out of my thoughts. i love him lots. it's been a month i left blogging. daily routine continues. giving up cookies orders for the sake of my first born. taking in only about 20 orders for my signature cookie. its been a challenging ramadhan, with acute backache that refrained me from sitting too long. continued with a swell in the eye.... and right now, flu to end my ramadhan. alhamdulillah, for im sure Allah still loves me. emotionally disturbed despite my smiles and laughter. looking at mom last nite filling up the lepat together with me, she is one strong woman. and i could never beat her strength. spring cleaned her home all on her own... fighting against her sadness for the little break-ups in the fam... cooking for us... i love her with all my heart. and all i could do for her is to accompany her and make her happy. for i'm still the little mischievious joker of the family... this was shown, through her laughters when i brought her out, while she is home with me. May Allah swt gives me the chance to make her happy throughout and keeps my mom healthy and safe always. missing my arwah dad terribly... despite his passing for 16years now. visited his grave weeks back, and i could not held my tears. how i wish he is still around. i'm sure he will be happy to see my princess growing right before his eyes. i'm sure he will be very happy to know that i'm staying next to his unit. a strict and firm man but with much love. loveable by others too.. still being remembered by people around me. his smiles, his strong family ties. O Allah, please grant him the best in your Jannah. i can't wait to be reunited to him, to be hugged by him again. i am missing you so much abah. al-fateha. dear mr.love....... i know you have been checking my blog now and then at your convenience time looking for updates. the only update which you need to know is, i'm so in love with you. it's been a strong 3 years of knowing you dear. with occasional sulking of me... occasional impatience of me... but you are still there loving me like before or even more. no regrets of knowing you mr.love for you brightens my day with your smile, i am missing that now... u filled my time with your sayang-sayang messages and chats... your concern towards me when i'm unwell... and i appreciate all that with all my heart. thank you dear. i've been blessed with all the love that i have. and i am thankful to Allah for that. and i'm sure there will be many more blessings to come, insyaAllah for me and my family and also to the people whom i love... i had been reading mr.pai epal by Mardhiah, and i'm so into the character. the ups and down the main characters had to believe in their love. and the beautiful arrangement Allah had for them to bring them together. i smiled, i cried, i laughed to the composition of the novel. with the screening of my mr.love on and off.. hehe.. oh well, it's just another novel that i cant get over reading with.... mr.love, selamat menyambut lebaran. mohon maaf zahir dan batin..... look forward to see you many days insya'Allah. sayang awak sangat.... :)