H A T I

"kerana rindu itu aku setia.... kerana kasih ini aku disini..... kerana sayang itu aku terluka.... kerana cinta ini aku terus menanti." 

 I guess i havent been myself lately. So much that i'm thinking of. To a point where I wish I could be on my own to a place where people doesnt know me. Patience has been my most challenge. TIRED.

 Alhamdulillah, eldest got a place in her choice of secondary school. After puchasing her school books and uniform yesterday, i decided to re-arrange the furniture in princess rooms. Tough time doing it together with the princesses. 

The shiftings; separating the bed of my eldest from the youngest room and moving out my youngest study table from my eldest room (without wheels)was not easy at all. The extra strength we both had to put in. Hub was unwell, even when queing for the books & uni, i did it with my eldest. It was until the bedframe of my eldest dropped off, i got no choice but to ask eldest to wake him up. But by then, all the shiftings had been done. So, all he had to do was to screw back the bedframe. 

 Somehow, I envied others. I dunno why. Just envy them. While others see the perfection in us, they don't know how I go through things. Likewise I guess, how i see the perfection in others. Life..... 

 Spent last sat with the gerls.... purchased their madrasah books in the morning, and then, brought them for karaoke. Just the 3 of us. They had fun. I can see that. A treat of Swensen's dinner after that before walking around Toys 'R' US... and a journey of an hour plus back home. I'm grateful to have the gerls, a companion when I needed it most. 

 Last friday, met up with Mr. Love for 3.5hrs Unexpected meet, unplanned movie date. I enjoyed being beside him, watching Hobbit. Our silence teasers. Thou' at the end of it, didnt turn out very well. But, Alhamduillah, the surprised appearance of Mr. Hub outside the theatre did not caught us off guard. I was somehow prepared and both of us did not talk to each other too the moment we left the theatre. And neither did he probe further. 

 Mr. Love will be away this week with his family for a short holiday. I wont be seeing or hearing from him. 

 Yes, i am missing him a lot. Lots and Lots. Close to 4 years. Hanging on, holding strong thou the gaps in between widens a little. 

 Saya tak tahu kenapa saya sayang sangat kat awak. Walaupun, ada masanya saya rasa i'm alone in this. Maybe alone when you are not with me.