very wrong

in the midst of blogging, the internet was disconnected. i couldnt continue for i'm up for my appt....

..... and i continued where i last stopped yesterday.

 

it was not easy either.... as i quoted his word; reading his last chats repeatedly, everything has been wrong, and very wrong lately..... i couldnt help but read between the lines. and the unusual no-call from him yest and a word or two replies i got, add more to my guilt.

 

are we obligated to this relationship? i'm sure i'm not.

 

everyone dreams of a smooth-sailing journey in life and after. i'm not an exception. and i will never forget the first time he was there for me during my downfall. he never left me alone. and till today, i appreciate all that he had done for me. but things are not always the way it was to be. slowly, it change without us realising. and the reason why among all the guys at langkawi it was him that stayed on with me, only Allah knows best. and i've never regretted the meet. for HE brought me someone who lights up my darkness and guide me along. i have never forget that.

 

i'm at my lost. i really do not know what i should do. i am not leaving any chats, not because of my ego this time, but i do not want to say the wrong thing. maybe its best to just let it flow naturally. giving him some space. and not adding anymore wrong.

 

this is probably a good start to ........ i couldnt find the right word to it.... *letting go a huge sigh*

 

i'm very sorry dear. truly sorry for causing the burden in you. i do realise that i had added additional burden, worries, etc to you. insya'Allah, things will change for good. i will try to minimise to zero if i could on my part. so that you could have a better focus. i couldnt lessen my love towards you, sorry. but i definitely could lessen other areas where possible. i'm thankful to you for your love. thou' i couldnt deny that i feel it was not like before. i'm contented still for your love for i know where i stand. thank you.

 

you will remain as my love one whom i had potted deep in my heart.