pain

missing someone is the most painful thing to be felt. 

while i thought that i wanted to blog on what's up during the last week of Ramadhan (i enjoyed those time very much)... i guess clearing the pain in the chest right now would be the best thing to do. 

i am not being selfish. i'm not. i'm all ears to whatever problems that others are facing. but, trying to get a minute of full attention seems to be difficult lately. of course, im aware of the priority. the critical issues need to be solved. but when i felt that, i'm actually being too hopeful for nothing, just weakens the whole of me. woke up every now and then in the middle of the night (bcos i have the chance to), checking on chats that im hopeful to receive, disappoints me. still, i brush off that feelings. being too hopeful (again) for a meet up (bcos i have the chance to) just didnt seem to work out too. so, don't blame me for giving up on this month. bcos' time doesnt seems to permit. 

sometimes, i wish you know what's in my mind. i wish you know what i'm hopeful for. i know i'm not like you who will say share or say what you feel. i'm still the same me, who will keep silence and just keep everything within me. 

loving someone is not as easy as it seems.